Embracing The Happiness

"You Will Be Exactly Happy As You Decide To Be."

Happiness is something what we all want; whether it be from eating a bar of chocolate or reaching a long term goal. I struggled quite a bit with being happy in myself for the fair part of last year; yes my life was good in terms of I had a roof over my head, a steady job and food in my fridge, but I just felt bland.

Is Comparison A Bad Thing?

We all do it; even when we don't realise we are doing it, we constantly compare ourselves to everyone. With filtered lives and highlight moments popping up on every social media platform it's no wonder that we all do it. However is it actually a bad thing to be forever comparing yourself to those around you?

A Letter To My Exes

Dear Ex,

Isn't it weird how we both thought our lives would pan out together; now look at us? Living different paths that neither us thought we would be at just yet. However this isn't at all a bad thing and I don't, despite what you probably think, hate you for how things fell apart towards the end all that time ago.

I remember us sitting talking about when we could see us getting married and where; how many kids you wanted and where we saw us living. I genuinely thought at that time I had found my forever but instead it was only one chapter in my life. We were both young and naive with still a lot to figure out about ourselves. I was the headstrong, organised one and you were the spontaneous, live in the moment one; yet somehow it worked?

When people talk about their first loves they always say that whoever it was still holds a piece of their heart and I believe that; especially when it comes to this certain someone. When you pop up on my Facebook On This Day and I see a tiny snippet of our lives, I remember those good times. Not the times when we were shouting at one another at 2am after one too many drinks or when you didn't reply to my calls for two days straight. Cause lets face it back then we had no clue what we were doing or how to have an adult relationship.

You made me realise I can be stupid yet sexy; focused yet passionate and it honestly is something that this dorky girl who never really had her first proper boyfriend until you, was made to realise that I was worth it to someone. I sometimes believe that if it we hadn't of crossed paths at that Halloween party where you were dressed up as a dead old man, I would have probably done 100 times better at uni as I wouldn't have had my focus distracted by you (don't let your head get bigger reading this, cause I know you do.) Even though we were on and off more than a light switch cause hey uni temptations and all of that; we always seem to come back to one another? Even now after 10 years I still cherish our catch ups; even though sometimes they are more drunk texts and voicemails, than actually face to face because we all know what happened the last time we were both single and met up!

Then there's you, the older guy; who I didn't expect to receive a dumping by from text. However you provided me with many opportunities to sink back my drink whilst playing Never Have I Ever as well as my now basic knowledge of Marvel characters. You did show me that there was light after a break up and that I could go on; you made me feel a million dollars when I was ready to turn into a nun and now we still check in with each other occasionally which I appreciate and it's nice to know how your life is going. 

And then there was the one who I constantly bickered with and we drove each other insane; like when I decided that at 2am I was going to get a taxi all the way back to mine which was over an hour away and you told me that I was being a stupid little princess. But hey it's all about growth and getting to know each other and how you are as one half of a couple. And we were just two halves that couldn't come together as one and that's okay.

People often tell me that I should hate you because let's face it you were a bit of a shit in those last few months (and yes so was I) but instead you actually made me stronger and probably into the straight talking person my friends turn to now. The day we broke up I spent the morning crying in the toilets at work, thinking how the hell am I going to carry on and then by the afternoon I literally thought no it's time to turn this around and focus on the positives that this can bring into my life. However you then decided to pull out another knife and stab that in just a little bit further; but you know what THANK YOU!!! I realised that I am strong; I took the steps I needed to sort my anxiety that lets face it you had a part in. I ended up taking risks with my job and friends; that have led me to where I am today in a job I love and with friends I cherish so much. 

 So what's the point in this letter really, well just to say thanks to all of you for making me the person I am today as well as for all the life lessons you've taught me from the mistakes we made together and the fun times we had. I don't hate you as much you probably think, in fact I probably do still love you just a tiny little bit and I probably always will. 


Time For Change


Oh Hi There; if you haven't noticed things have changed around here and if you haven't well let me introduce you to Life With Laurel.

Yes Lola's Little Wonders has left her days of sitting on the floor at Primary School and has now developed into a fully grown adult who is allowed to sit on the benches at the back (finally!!). I felt that I had finally outgrown my old blog name and that I need a glow up; so a new name, new layout, new angle; so basically new year, new me and all that bullshit that comes with it.